Once upon a time, a prince and a princess met. When they looked into each other’s eyes, their hearts started beating very fast. They felt more vibrant. Their genitals tingled. They knew they’d found that special someone who made them feel special. In reality each had drank a magic potion made up of dopamine, adrenaline, seratonin and oxytocin that made the other look like the perfect mate – exciting, handsome/beautiful, kind, giving, loving and extremely passionate. The other could do no wrong. All was good with life and they were just about to live happily ever after… except their primary partners felt absolutely miserable -ignored, rejected, unloved and worst of all, invisible!
The prince’s primary cried so many tears and she kvetched and kvetched and turned into the wicked witch of the west who kept the lovers from consumating their most burning desire. The princess’ primary felt so angry. He shut down and wouldn’t talk to her except about the most mundane of matters. Now the prince and princess felt guilty for triggering such painful reactions in their partners and in their new partner’s partner and they tried to discuss with them such matters as NRE (New Relationship Energy), compersion and letting go. They’d use NVC (Non-Violent Communication) and stress-management techniques, but they’d still end up in terrible arguments and accusations that they’d regret at a later time.
Now the prince and princess were in a quandry…should they sneak away, meet secretly, lie to their primaries and go with the wonder and excitement of this spectacular, ever-increasing, pulsating energy or return to the tears and accusations back home? Each was sworn to an ethical and honest form of relating, but what was happening in the moment was overwhelming and made all that stuff seem heady and insignificant.
It’s no wonder that almost every language has the expression “falling” in love. Let’s start talking in terms of “rising” in love and take a look at what that might look like…
The prince and princess meet. They drink the magic potion consciously. They feel the wonderful feelings. They feel vibrantly alive and free. They make incredible tantric love with deep reverence for each other’s body, mind and spirit. They feel uplifted and energized and after embracing and thanking each other for such a special and sacred connection, they return to their companions at home to share with them this abundance of love. Their primary partners are delighted that their partners feel so happy and fulfilled and they now receive the benefits of it. The prince and princess feel incredibly appreciative of their partners with whom they share their daily lives. They sit with them and relate what an adventure they have experienced and how exhilarating it is to love from a place of freedom. Now their partners take that energy to their friends and lovers to share it with them. It is a stream of love that just keeps flowing and growing.
So what do you think? Is this reality or just a poly fairytale?