Polyamory…A Hedonist’s Dream? YES!

I have been accused of being a hedonist.  I love pleasure. I love it as as a noun and as a verb. Self-pleasuring is good…pleasuring another is wonderful…being pleasured by another is exquisite.  My favorite thing a lover can say to me is “I want to know all the ways I can pleasure you.”  Just thinking of that is so very delicious.

I had a friend who had five daughters and when the questions about sex started, she not only gave them “the talk” which probably was different from your average talk, but also bought them vibrators and taught them about self-pleasuring.  She wanted them to be knowledgeable of their own bodies and sexuality before they explored with others.

I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I’d had sexually liberated people guiding me in my formative years.  I remember the confusion I felt around my sexuality, the hormones raging but not allowing myself to be touched in “those places.” Perhaps my first experience of sex wouldn’t have been date-rape.  Perhaps I wouldn’t have wandered around in a daze for what seemed like an endless time full of fear and shame.  Perhaps I wouldn’t have felt so alone.

Perhaps that was all part of the journey to arrive at the place where I am now…. loving who I am…body, mind and spirit.

This entry was posted in Fear, Pleasure, Shame and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Polyamory…A Hedonist’s Dream? YES!

  1. Dougles says:

    Hola, Todo dinamica y muy positiva! :)

  2. avidlearner says:

    That’s really powerful! I want to hear more about your journey. This is important for both men and women to hear — how did you get past the fear and shame?

    • Naima says:

      Thanks avidlerner. See my post “Jealousy-a big ugly monster? NOT!” in which I talk about some of the techniques and people who have influenced me and helped me move beyond strong limiting emotions. Fear and Shame are huge and important topics in themselves and I will be discussing them much more in my future posts.

    • Kazuya says:

      I don’t see this kind of thing as ever really wiorkng. It requires the right set of personalities, and I don’t think assembling them together is truly possible. For people what like what they like, and somehow I don’t see how someone could pick the right group of people that could get along based on those likes/dislikes. Like me, I like alpha males, could you see the fights that would come from a group of them trying to decide who’s first??? Cause you know no real Alpha is going to be second to anyone. Or even tolerate another male in the picture for that matter. In order for this kind of thing to work, really work, it would require a central alpha male or female and a group of increasingly subservient male or females. Somehow I just don’t think this kind of thing would really work out. Eventually, someone is going to get tired of being the omega.

      • Naima says:

        Your choice of the “alpha male” really says more about you than about him. Yes, some people choose to be possessed by another, to be subservient, to be obedient. But this is not my experience of people that choose polyamory. The qualities that I’ve seen emphasized are equality, openness, respect, honesty and communication especially of feelings as they arise and dealing with those feelings from a place of love and understanding. This lifestyle is not for everyone. it takes patience and work and the willingness to explore the deepest and sometimes most frightening parts of oneself. However it is not only possible but people are living and loving in this way all over the world. It’s really happening!

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